-| Only Connect |-

With sudden unexpected showers in Melbourne, I decided to wait it out by ducking in a bookstore. I was engrossed in watching the world pass by when I read the line of two words 'Only Connect - EM Forster' 

As in life, so in art - only connect. The heart of the matter is often uncomplicated. Nor do we need so many words to get to it or share it. My theory of sketching and design is that the conception should be as clear as possible and that details should flow as a clear stream of water. You will of course encounter boulders but you will learn to go over them, around them so as not to impede the flow. If your stream gets too muddy or sluggish, it is better to put aside that piece of sketch / detail. Go to the source, go to the spring where the water is purest, your thoughts as clear as the mountain air; where there is no struggle. 

-| People |-

Quarreled with N and later felt foolish and made up. When will I learn that life is not a novel? Life does not have an organization of the novel. People are not characters in a play, they refuse to conform to the boundaries of the plot or our desires or our needs. 

We have to accept people as they are if we want to live with them or have them in our lives. We cant really change people. Only a chameleon can change a colour as per his environment, and that too only to deceive. 

-| Chance to do it better | - 

You are doing it wrong. 

But at least you're doing it.

Once you're doing it, you have a chance to do it better.


Waiting for perfect means not starting.

-| search the ladder|-

 While it might be fun (or appear expedient, or brave, or heroic) to try to scale a cliff with no tools, it turns out that ladders are a more effective way to level up.

When it’s time to drive a nail, a hammer is a lot more useful than a rock. Even if you have to invest in obtaining one.

Often, we spend most of our time throwing ourselves at the wall instead of investing the time to find a useful ladder instead.

Perhaps, instead of restating our audacious goals, we can spend more time finding useful tools–insights, skills, trust, attention, access–instead.

It’s worth the search.

-| Ditch the bravado |- 

If you are stuck between a rock and a hard place or hanging off a cliff, what would you do? Scream for help or pretend you don’t need it with a dash of bravado?

The answer seems obvious. Our reaction, as well, would be obvious.

Why, then, do we bother with the bravado in our normal lives? We are often between a rock and a hard place at work, in our relationships, with our finances etc. Why, then, do we not scream for help and get help?

Ditch the bravado. Ask for help. Learn. Move on. It’s okay to be in a bad place.

Once again, it’s okay..

- | what we want |- 

The same thing everyone else is having, but different.

A menu where the prices aren’t all the same.

More attention than the person sitting next to them.

A slightly lower price than anyone else.

A new model, just moments before anyone else, but only if everyone else is really going to like it.

A seat at a sold out movie.

Access to the best customer service person in the shop, preferably the owner.

Being treated better, but not too much better.

Being noticed, but not too noticed.

Being right.

-| change and yoghurt |- 

Our family is from a part of India where plain yoghurt is a key part of the diet. Yoghurt is a great counter to the heat and, thus, a staple. So, I grew up a big yoghurt fan and that continues to this day.

As a result, I “make” yoghurt 2-3 times a week. I put make in quotes because it makes itself. But, there’s still a lightweight process involved. And, that requires me to heat the milk till it almost boils over, allow it to cool down a bit, pour a bit of existing yoghurt, and leave it to do its thing over the next day or so.

This process turns out to be very instructive in driving change in ourselves –

1. It helps to face the heat and be under a bit of pressure that pushes us to recognize the importance of change (too much heat causes other spillover effects).
2. Next, we must give ourselves a bit of time to partially recover from the period of intensity and use that time to reflect on the kind of change we’d like to drive.
3. Then, it helps to find a role model for that change – either a person who embodies the behavior or a book or a course that teaches us the way – and spend mental time with that role model.
4. Finally, give it time.

Lots to learn from yoghurt!