Tuesday, 19 June 2018

-| Peaceful Soul |-

I want a peaceful soul.
But there is a God. Holy, to the hilt. And we have very little in common on that ground. And there is a part of me that cannot do anything but war against this God. I do not say this lightly. But truthfully.
When I am not arguing with Him I want peace with Him. That fathoms-deep peace defying understanding. I want the peace he has already declared as a reality. But only sometimes.
I want to put down my weapons that defend. And offend. I want that. So my soul can taste something of this peace. But I’m bloodthirsty.
I’ve been reading about Mahaprabhuji. He talks of this peace and I got excited, though scared. He fell in love with the peace in the hills and forests. But that is geography.
But I hear nothing of places of peace. The soul at peace with God retains it though the walls cannot. Though they fall around and upon, still. But scarred stands.
This peace is strong in a world of hard hearts. The pushing against the organ with it’s blood pumping is painful. A world’s worth in my chest. But it chisels away.
This peace is fixed under the feather of the peacock. And is the the dew sitting light on the leaves. But to nourish hard ground.

Tuesday, 5 June 2018

-| Random thoughts today |-

I am lucky to stand clear a star-studded night. 

2. I need a few days off work, so if someone sick could come over and hug me and let me drink after them, I’d appreciate it.

Social media now feels like an awful job.

4. Work that cradles your conscience is a valuable thing.

5. Food is my comfort food.

6. Everything is never enough.

7. Sometimes a curse word seems appropriate because it feels as though a curse has landed square upon you.

8. I wish I could still taste the air of a 13 yr old summer night.

9. It has always been a gracious fact that the depth of my sins are not all seen at once.